Bliss bothers me ...

I was walking towards the bus stop to return home one evening when I passed by the Art Fest stalls and the orchestra. I decided to stay there and 'enjoy' the ambience of a fest. It was a long time since I had last attended a fest - probably my college fest in 2004. So I sat in front of the Old Main and watched kids play with their parents while the orchestra played engaging songs. There was this toddler with an amazing smile walking on all fours on the grass towards his dad who kept walking backwards as this little guy came nearer. Then there were a couple of little cuties doing somersaults, a little one tirelessly doing frontrolls, and several others frollicking around their parents. I don't know what people mean when they say 'blissful'. But at that moment, sitting at the center of tireless energy of joyous kids with good music to back it up, I thought - probably this that I am feeling, is bliss. I enjoyed the feeling for quite a while, and then I grew restless. I decided to take that bus to my apartment and started walking to the stop. But as I neared the stage, the gathering of people dancing in front of the podium drew me closer. I stood there for a while, again enjoying the happiness of those people, feeling blissful. I thought - I want to be happy like these people. Bliss bothers me.
There was a 'phase' a few years back when this sort of bliss would have bothered me immensely. I would see a cute kid, or a girl with an amazing smile, or an object of great beauty, and I would wonder if there's a cure. The problem with abstract things like beauty is that you can not touch it and feel closer to it. They are not like a great meal - you eat it and the hunger is quenched. When I hear some of the songs that I used to hear during my summer training in Jamshedpur, I feel a connection that only music can make you feel. I can see myself lying on the short cement wall beside my room watching the starry sky.
But extremely fortunately, I am much better equipped now to handle the pressures of bliss.