Is it a ‘bye’ or 'byee'

I never knew how to say a 'bye'. Reason can be attributed to God's evil scheme which deprived me the company of females during my 'formative years'. After all, you can't expect someone who grew up among semi-goons in an all-boys boarding school to develop the etiquettes that only female presence can provide.

I, in fact, never knew that I lacked the basic bye-etiquette. Going into college, I was as aloof from technology as a Gorakhpuri could be in pre 2K era. So I was not net-savvy or chat savvy by any standards. By the time I started chatting on Yahoo! and my family and friends away from college became net-literate, I was already molded. It was my cousin sister who first brought my attention to this problem of mine. One evening, after a half an hour or so of chatting, she said she had to go - 'I gotta go'. I replied, 'Ok then, bye' (or was it just 'bye'?). BIG MISTAKE. 'You were just waiting for this!'. I thought, 'What? If you got to go, you got to go!!!' But that was my immature self. It has taken a few times with various individuals over several years to finally understand to some extent the bye-etiquette. Here are a few tips for unfortunate souls like me.

How to say a bye..

1. 'okkk.... bbyeee...talk to you later then' is the least you should do.
2. Never reply a 'bye', especially the first 'bye' (or for that matter a 'got to go') with a simple 'bye'. Most people don't mean what they say. A 'got to go' probably means 'I eventually have to go'. So, let there be several bye's before you finally sign out.
3. If you have to leave, start the byes at least 15 mins before you really have to go. Say 'bye' followed by another totally unconnected sentence, but one that is sure not to start a new thread of conversation.
4. 'Byeee' is better than a simple bye. the more e's the better..or for that matter a few extra b's and y's won't do much harm either. Show as much enthusiasm as possible. I think people take it as a measure of how glad you are to have talked to them.
5. Bye or bye.... -- connecting the dots. People see the dots and read more than there is to read. Like u don't want to leave, not just yet, no matter u r missing your bus or class, it kills you to quit the chat. So, always keep a few dots handy.
6. :( - Nothing beats a sad emoticon. Oh how you wish you could chat a little longer!
7. All said and done, perhaps an equally important thing is you have to be very alert, always on your toes. The very fact that I am writing this piece indicates that I have slipped a couple of times in recent past. Remember that no theory is any good unless brought in practice. :)